Lessons from an aggressive dog

A few years ago we welcomed an aggressive dog into our family. I wasn’t seeking an aggressive dog and this one came with some history that wasn’t too impressive.   For those of us with several dogs and linked into the doggy community, we all know that if you put out there that you want a dog – many, many will appear in your lap. I wasn’t looking for another dog. But, there was something about Nickel when I met him that just drew me to him. I had a certain “plan” for him but little did I know, the universe (led by Nickel) had a completely different plan.

Our family had never had an aggressive dog.  I had a very bossy female Border Collie, but her bouts of so called aggression, were usually well timed corrections.  The severity of the correction was directly related to the capacity of the receiver to “get the message”. There were a few dogs she really liked (main requirement was they needed to be smart and well behaved) but she had only shown love and affection to all humans.  Nickel, the new kid, was not like that – at all.

Nickel was 3 years old when he came to live with us.  At three, he had some things that were hard-wired into his being. He had aggressive tendencies to both humans and animals. This was something we were going to have to work with.  I quickly realized that he didn’t really understand corrections.  He didn’t respond to the normal things I had used and just stood there with a cold, hard stare when I expressed my displeasure at what he was doing.  He also didn’t understand doggy behavior.  He just took toys from everyone, ran into them knocking them down and yes, a little worse than that.  We were pretty discouraged at his lack of understanding.  However, my female border collie, Meg wasn’t discouraged.  Even at the ripe old age of 12, she was able to “explain” she had a bubble of protection around her.  If you entered it – even by mistake, you would be sorry.  She didn’t make this point by aggression, but just clear intention of aggression. Amazing to watch Nickel respond to that “intention.”

I have run into many people that have had similar aggression issues with their animals – particularly dogs.  Many people know of Nickel’s history and ask what we do to properly manage this aggression.  Here are some observations that may help those with these types of dogs.

We have worked on building a trusting relationship with Nickel.  We showed him respect when he didn’t like something and we worked at helping him understand what we expected of him.  One thing is for sure, he didn’t not respond to any negative responses from us.  It seemed to fuel the fire that was burning inside him increasing the intensity of his anger. So we learned to be calm and clear with him. And to pause – long pause if he gave you that cold, hard stare.  I learned he was evaluating my next move.  “Can I trust her?” he seemed to say.

I expect all of my dogs to behave a certain way as part of my human pack.  Many of them whom I’ve gotten as puppies or were taught this behavior very young, all act this way.  Nickel, it seemed, was just one step away from a wild dog. He didn’t respect dog behavior nor human.  If this was going to work – we both had some learning to do.  He had certain triggers that would bring out aggression.  Grooming, confinement, corrections, balls!, invading his personal space – all these things would bring out aggression.  Also the food he was being given actually “fed” his aggressiveness.  He was being fed a poor quality grocery store kibble with loads of dyes in there.

Certain things about Nickel would never change.  He had an aggressive past therefore he had patterned behavior of aggression.  “When in doubt, strike out.” He was, in fact, a dog.  A dog looking for his place in a multi-species pack.  He wasn’t a fuzzy human wanting to emulate human behavior. He also wanted to contribute to his pack. He wanted to make a difference – in his own way.  Sounds impossible but it’s funny to think of this perspective when we think of our cats.  We fully expect them to not listen, do what they want, destroy things, bite and scratch sometimes and usually drop something dead on our doorstep and ask us to be happy about it.  Our poor dogs are not so lucky to have the same understanding.  We expect them to conform to our world and lucky for us, they try so hard to do just that.

We are lucky to share our lives with dogs.  Most of us have many different species of animals in our lives, but dogs are something special.  They love being in our pack, they try very hard to fit in and they almost seem to emulate our human behavior.  So many of us see them as humans in a furry body. Yes, they have done an amazing job at making us think this and giving us very good reason to believe they are our furry kids, but in fact, they are dogs in a dog body wanting to have a dog’s life here on earth.

Realizing this difference and learning to accept it is the shift in perspective that helped me in my relationship with Nickel. It opened the doorway to our next level of understanding. Also changing from trying to “fix” him, to accepting our responsibility to guide his experiences in life – providing him situations that would help him versus giving him conditions that kept him repeating the same things that didn’t work.

We try very hard to not put him into situations where his aggression can come out.  We changed the way we do many things to accommodate his past patterned behavior.  Our hope is that he will learn new behavior, learn new patterns. Many people like to set up their dog. Set up a situation that they know to have caused the aggression in the past – “just to see” or perhaps it gives the person an opportunity to “correct” the dog.  How would you feel if someone you supposedly trusted put you in a situation and hoped you would fail?  It wouldn’t do much for gaining my trust in them that’s for sure!  We manage his activities carefully and think ahead at things that might bring up those old patterns.  Through lessons from other dogs, he has learned to growl and bear his teeth.  I praise him for this as he is now giving me very good information – like a dog should! I also look back on the times he acted out and many times it was me (or another human) that put him in a situation where he didn’t know how to respond.  Some dogs respond by shutting down and others by acting out.  He is a very high energy dog and responds by absorbing energy so I’d try to make it calming energy.

Nickel is lucky enough to live on a farm with sheep so he gets to work them.  He also gets to run and play for hours each day.  He has a LOT of energy so giving him ways to channel his “work” has done wonders. We also have him on a custom flower essence mixture to help with his patterned behavior.  I do energy work on him (Reiki), shamanic healing and he responds to smooth, loving pets. I recently purchased a healing stone collar for him.  He loves this collar and asks to have it put on him (and removed when it needs to be). I think he responds to these types of healing energies because he is such a “wild” spirit.  These are energies he understands as they are from the earth and provide him the loving support he needs to be who HE wants to be.  We are lucky he is part of our family but it has taken a huge shift in our perspectives to realize this.  Some people say we have changed him but I know that it is us who have done most of the changing.  We are helping him become the being he wants to be and helping him to fit into the world WE have created.  What a good dog, Nickel.